Sunday, August 16, 2009

Phone call with Daddy

Joey generally doesn't like talking on the phone so it's tough that his Dad has been away since April. They both miss each other but Joey just never wants to get on the phone. Well, on Friday night, he did! Unfortunately, the reception was bad but Joey said "I miss you Daddy" after his Dad said I love you. It wasn't him just repeating after his Dad. He said it on his own!!!

He also told his Dad, "you just have to get in your car and to the heavy house." It was just so cute...and so heartbreaking. He never talks about missing his Daddy but I know he does. His Dad will be back after his week vacation at the beginning of September. I don't have a date yet but I'm used to not getting exact information. I'm just surprised he's not rushing here for Joey's MRI. Wait...I'm not surprised.

The only thing I'm worried about is Joey getting his Dad's undivided attention once he comes back. When he visited for 3 days in July, we let him stay at our house. I told him that he could have his girlfriend over as long as we knew ahead of time. The 1st night he was here, he snuck her in and had sex with her while our son was downstairs (Bryan and I actually got to go out for once!). Doesn't really show me how much Joey means to him. Yes, we all have needs but seriously? His girlfriend was apologetic to me for coming into my house without me knowing but my ex did not apologize. What they don't realize is the thing about Autism is kids with it can't lie.

My ex has a way of fooling everyone into thinking he cares...he even fools me. I'm sure he cares in his own way but I wish it was more for Joey's sake. I know the two of them will dictate what kind of relationship they have when Joey gets older. I just wish he took part in his life now. Who leaves their special needs child for 6 months (and for less than half his salary)? Someone who is defined by what he does, not by who he loves and who loves him.

Everyone likes to think I'm the bitter ex. I'm not. My life and Joey's life is 100 times better. And I am glad that my ex and I get along. I just wish he could be a better Dad and just care about Joey more. He doesn't even take Joey for a haircut when he's here. He's never once gone to an appointment that concerns Joey's Autism. So sad. I know most men are in denial but I guess I just expected more from a person in the health field that went to graduate school.

Enough about my rant, even though it is important for other women to know out there that it is not just YOU! Most Dads bail on their kids, especially when there is something wrong. What gets me is when those Dads are still considered Dad of the Year by the people around them. Wake up!

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