Sunday, February 16, 2014

Life changing news, 10 years later

Today marks the 10th anniversary of the day I found out I was pregnant. 10 years ago today, my doctor confirmed I was going to have a baby. They say once you have a baby, time flashes in an instant, and before you know it they are leaving for college. When he turned 9 this past October, I realized that half his childhood was over. Where did it go? Some parts I wouldn't relive, but those precious times as a baby...well I would give anything to have them back. If I knew back then that hed be my one and only, I would have treasured them even more.

When I found out I was pregnant, it was a surprise. It wasn't like we weren't trying. We were! We just finished our 4th cycle of Clomid. But 12 days before I found out I was pregnant, my Mom was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure. Her ejection fraction was 19%. Anything lower than 35% means you are in serious danger of your heart stopping. To say I was distressed was an understatement. So when I went in to the doctor for my monthly check up, I told her I was late with my period but I brushed it off. I told her how stressed I was about my Mom. I also told her I booked an 8 day trip to NY for April that very morning because I didn't really believe this pregnancy thing was going to happen (I would have never booked it if I knew I was pregnant). She told me to humor her and take a urine test. She came back and said I was pregnant but that we should confirm it with a blood test. I couldn't believe the news.

Now, 10 years later, I have a bright, sweet, beautiful boy. Soon, he will be a handsome, strong man, getting ready to start his life. I am so honored to be his Mom. I tell him everyday that I love him more than anything. I do, with every fiber of my being. I've often wondered if I love him more than some other parents love their children because I wanted him so much. I prayed for him for a long time. I will never take him for granted because he almost wasn't mine. I was so close to never conceiving. He truly is the love of my life. And I'm so glad I got the chance to be his Mommy.

I also didn't understand how protective you could feel over another human being until that day. A fitting picture on the 10th anniversary of the day I found out I would be a Mom.